


towards the other side of sorrow

by mitsutsuki



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Other, Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 132: Wings of Freedom Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28860294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitsutsuki/pseuds/mitsutsuki
Summary: Levi wants to believe that there is indeed a world where nothing would hold them back—a place where they could find the other side of sorrow.
Relationships: Levi & Hange Zoë, Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title is the song by Aimer titled Kanashimi no Mukougawa.

"Hey, four eyes..." Levi calls out to Hanji. His voice sounds hoarse and his entire body is aching in pain but he forced himself to stand. 

That was the second time he called her using that nickname today. It was his attempt at normalcy as it was a reminder of the older days—back when they were still ignorant and caged inside the walls. 

Their eyes met briefly from afar. Come to think of if that was the first time their eyes met today. He had been avoiding to meet her gaze as it brings him back to that damned forest—the night where their feelings spilled out. It seems like Hanji is going through the same turmoil too. 

He could see the fear in Hanji's eye. Although the brunette had managed to hide it from the kids, Levi knows Hanji far too well. 

Just one look in her eye and he would know—it was the same for her to him. They can easily read the other without the need for words. 

The captain's legs are so close to giving out but he steeled himself to walk because he is desperate to reach her. 

Hanji stands unmoving, waiting for Levi to get closer. 

As soon as he does, she starts saying the words he had hoped to not ever hear from her. 

"You understand." 

It hurts because he does understand just like what he told her in the forest. 

_"I know you..."_

Levi's own words haunt him. 

_'Damn four eyes..this is very unfair of you.'_

"It's finally here you know." 

Levi had always known this day would come but of course he still hoped it wouldn't. 

Death is inevitable especially in their line of work but still it is difficult for him to accept as Hanji had always been by his side for as long as he can remember. Hanji is a constant in his life. 

Levi had gotten used to saying farewells to his loved ones but Hanji was the one person who was able to remain by his side far longer that he thought was even possible. 

Hanji's existence to his life was something akin to a miracle. 

"It's my turn." 

There's still so much more he wants to say. 

What about her dreams of wanting to see more of the world? What about when she told him she is going to be the first in line in his tea shop? What about when she asked him to live with her in the forest? 

"I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now." 

Hanji had always looked cool to him with her sharp wit and brilliant mind. 

What Hanji had accomplished in those 4 years is not something that can be easily done by anyone else. 

Hanji had ways been amazing but sadly it seems that the bespectacled brunette was oblivious of it. 

Levi is aware of the stress and pressure Hanji had went through for being the commander. He saw how the glimmer in Hanji's eye would disappear from time to time. 

Levi had somewhat blamed himself for it as he is partially the reason why Hanji was put into that position but he knows Hanji never held it it against him. 

"So just let me go, will you?" 

Levi felt something inside him broke as soon as he heard those words. 

Hanji pleaded to him to be let go because already knew he was going to stop her. 

Hanji can read him like an open book—that's how their relationship had always been. He could say the most mundane things and she would still somehow understand him and the same goes the other way around. 

Levi wanted nothing more but to reach out to Hanji and hold her in his arms and keep her safe just like what she did a few days prior to him. Guilt is eating him out—he couldn't even return the favor to her. 

_'To hell with being humanity's strongest. What is the point if I could not even save the people I hold dear?'_

He wants to embrace her but he knows when he does, he wouldn't be able to let go and heed her request. They have far too many responsibilities—they had both agreed on it back in the forest. 

After what felt like an eternity, Levi finally musters the strength to speak. 

"Devote...your heart." 

It was the only proper parting word he could think of to convey everything he feels and to give Hanji the courage she needs. 

He knows Hanji would understand what he meant with it just like how she did all those past years. 

He briefly recalls how Hanji would excitedly shared somethint that went through her day to him, how she would laugh at his jokes. 

He had never said this in his life but Hanji's existence to him was like that of a sun. 

Levi has his fist placed on the top of Hanji's chest—over her heart. He could feel the ground tremble as the rumbling gets closer to them each second but the beating of Hanji's heart against his fist felt stronger than anything else that moment. 

Levi soon feels the warmth in his hand leave—the sound from the rumbling becoming louder once more. 

He places his left hand back to his side as Hanji quickly scrambles away but he is still standing frozen in his place. 

"That's the first time I heard you say that." 

Indeed that was a first for him. A decade in the corps and he never imagined he would have to say those words under this circumstance. 

Hanji's laugh sounded strained, and he can imagine she was forcing a smile too. He knows that is her way of trying to cope with things. 

Levi wants nothing more but to look back at Hanji but he is afraid he might do something stupid and make an attempt to stop her. 

He wants to look at her in the eye one last time but he is scared that he might see the truth in her eye—the truth that they both don't want to let go. 

Levi hears the sound of Hanji's gear as he stares into the ground still unmoving. 

Everything else was a blur to Levi after that. He cannot recall getting into the plane. 

He hears the wailing of the kids, the new young commander—Armin, calling out Hanji's name and Onyankopon tearfully tells them to hold on tight as they take off. 

Levi suddenly recalls Hanji's words to him earlier—when she asked him if he believed that their comrades are watching them. 

He wants to believe that they do. 

The captain is taken back to the memory of when they had first met. 

"I was watching you." 

It is funny how he saw Hanji back then as a possible threat to his life where all Hanji wanted was to befriend him despite the disapproval of the other scouts. 

He still remembers the genuine smile she gave him that day and how their eyes looked so bright. 

He never imagined how important Hanji would become to him. 

Levi is not one to believe in the afterlife but there is always a first in everything. 

He wants to believe that there is indeed a world out there where they could meet again once more. 

A world where nothing would hold them back—a place where they could find the other side of sorrow. 

"See you Hanji. Keep watching us." 


	2. Chapter 2

Levi is running late for work after he overslept because of a strange dream he had last night.

He walks as fast as he could to reach the crossing so he could catch the scheduled train at 7:30am at least. The crowd of people heading towards the station at this hour is much more bigger compared to his usual 6:30am.

While waiting for the pedestrian signal to turn green, Levi tries to recall the dream that was the cause of his unusual tardiness. It was now blurry to him but he could remember that he was saying goodbye to someone in this dream. Although the person's face was not familiar to him, he felt some sort of connection with this person. 

Levi snapped out from his reverie when he heard the crowd surrounding him exclaim in panic as they notice a person get accidentally pushed towards the road while vehicles are still rapidly passing by.

Fortunately enough the person was only within arms reach of Levi so he was able to pull this person into safety just in time.

"Are you alright?" Levi asks as he is still holding this person's arm.

"That was a close one! I thought I was a goner!" The person exclaims while turning their head towards Levi. "Thanks by the—"

Brown eyes met steel gray eyes and that was all it took. 

The pedestrian signal is now green and the crowd of people started crossing but the two were caught up in their own world. It was as if time stopped for them.

"Levi?" Hanji was the first to break the silence—tears starting to form in her eyes. 

Without saying a word, Levi pulls Hanji into a tight hug. He missed her so much and having her in his arms just felt so right.

He feels Hanji bury her face into the crook of his neck, her tears flowing down.

They both pulled away from the hug but still held each other close.

Levi now tearing up as well and gives Hanji the most genuine smile. Hanji returns na smile in kind.

"..Four eyes," Levi says quietly. He puts his hand over her chest to feel her heartbeat—to reassure himself that she indeed alive and real.

"You found me clean freak," Hanji says—as she clutches the hand that is placed over her chest. 

"I won't ever let go of you now. Hanji," Levi says as he rests his forehead against Hanji's.

Their faces are only millimeters apart now so Levi tries to muster up the courage to do the one thing he should have done a long time ago.

He holds her face close to him and they share a chaste kiss.

All those things they could never do in their previous life, they have better chances of making them happen now. All those things they could never say, they could voice them out now.

They're reunited now and this time they won't let their chance slip away ever again.

They've finally found each other in the other side of sorrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my first attempt at making a fic that isn't a drabble so if you have made it this far then thank you so much I truly appreciate it!


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